My Name Is Tam And I'm Yer Man
I'm Here To Enforce The Smokin' Ban
I Used To Be A Bus Inspector
Now I'm An Official Smoke Detector
My Name Is Tam And I'm Yer Man
Cinemas And Bingo Halls,
Hotels, Motels And Shopping Malls
Pubs And Clubs And Railway Cars,
Knocking Shops And Sleazey Bars
No Pipes, Cigars Or Cigarettes,
No Roll-Ups With Added Grass
Wear A Patch, Missus, Bite Yer Nails,
Or Scratch Yer Kyber Pass
Walk Into Your Local Boozer
See The Sign Upon The Wall
Ye Can Drink Tae Yer Lying Unconscious
But Ye Cannot Smoke At All
No More Fag-Ends Or Ashtrays
No Asking For A Light
If Ye Wanna Smoke My Friend
Ye'll Need Tae Walk In An Oot That Door Aw Night
My Name Is Tam And I'm Yer Man
And I'm Here Tae Enforce The Smokin' Ban
I Used To Be A Bus Inspector
Now I'm A Smoke Detector
My Name Is Tam And I'm Yer Man
Oh Is That Right?
Well, My Name Is Ross An' I Couldn't Give A Toss
For Tam An' His Smokin' Ban
Don't Dae This, Don't Dae That,
Ye Cannae Sneeze, Ye Cannae Fart
Don't Hit Yer Kids, Don't Pick Your Nose,
Don't Have Sex, You Might Catch A Dose
Ye Cannae Park Here, Ye Don't Park There,
The Blue Meanies Are Everywhere
A Woman Can Marry A Woman, A Man Can Marry A Man
And Now That Bob's Yer Auntie, They Bring Oot A Smokin' Ban
And Here's Another Thing Tam,
That Makes Me Really Sick
Ye Can Still Light Up In Parliament
Or Smoke When You're In The Nick
So 'Aw They Sleazey Politicians
Who Tell Nothing But Lies
They Still Walk Aboot Singing
'Smoke Gets In Your Eyes'
It's Worst Than Prohibition,
They've Took Away My Right
Gee Me A Bell, I'm A Leper,
Wringing Wet Standing Ootside All Night
So, My Lord, I'm Feelin' Guilty
To Possession Of Plenty Dope
Don't Give Me Bail, I Want The Jail,
So I Can Have A Smoke
But Smokin' Is Bad For Your Health,
Oh We All Know That
So Is A Stanley Knife, My Lud,
And A Wooden Baseball Bat
My Name Is Tam An I'm Yer Man
I'm Here To Enforce The Smokin' Ban
Well My Name Is Ross An I Don't Give A Toss
For Tam An His Smokin' Ban (Gie's a Light, Tam)
Da Da Da Da Hey Hey, Da Da Da Da (To Fade)
TerryMooreMusic2006
